Butterstick Better Not Be Gay

Apparently it is fine for pandas to marry, just not homos. So while Thailand held a formal celebration for five-year-old Chuang Chuang and his four-year-old "bride" Lin Hui, Sam Brownback -- Kansas's answer to Rick Santorum -- forced a version of the Federal Marriage Amendment through his Senate subcommittee yesterday.

Anything to divert attention from all the real problems the country faces, right? Next up for Sammy: "Why the Government Should Care about Pornography."