If You Enjoyed the Nancy Drew French Toast Story, You'll Love the Star Trek Convention Story - Hi, I'm Ben and I attended a Star Trek convention. Okay, I know I won't be able to convince you that I only went because it sounded like a great people-watching (and -mocking) opportunity. Friday night, Kevin and I heard that there was going to a gathering of Star Trek fans at the middlebrow Radisson hotel a few miles from where we live. The mimeographed flyer mentioned that the big name guests were to include Gates McFadden (Dr. Crusher) and Levar Burton (Geordi LaForge). Their introductions were preceeded by a homemade music video featuring scenes from the TV show edited to fit a catchy 80's ditty (banana-clip wearing Geordi's featured Timbuk3's "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades").

Now, I liked The Next Generation as much as the next guy, maybe even a little more. Nevertheless, I think that only people who are truly deserving should get a standing ovation. I refused to stand when McFadden was introduced. Now, Burton, you could make a case for...he was Kunta Kinte after all, and who didn't love Reading Rainbow? Yes, many of my fellow convention goers proved the worst of the Comic Book Guy and Professor Frink (see last quote on the page) stereotypes to be true. How many times do you think these people have been asked "What your favorite episode?" In fact, both McFadden and Burton must have been working from the same script with their patter about the Sacramento fog to loosen up the audience. However, once Gates McFadden mused that she "wished the Bush Administration was bound by the Prime Directive" we had to abort our mission and escape.
Other assorted question:

• Why would people come to a Star Trek convention dressed as storm troopers?
  
• If Star Trek is your life and you are going to a convention and making the effort to get dressed up as a Klingon, why wouldn't you go all out and use a latex appliance for your forehead ridge instead of a cheap plastic Halloween mask?
  
• If I had saved a TV Guide from 1987 that happened to have Patrick Stewart on the cover, could I sell it for 5 bucks?
  
• Why do people with mullets not seem to recognize that their haircuts are unfashionable?
  
• Why wasn't there any slash fiction for sale out in the open?
  

But the saddest question of all,

• Why did Herb Jefferson Jr of Battlestar Galactica (wearing an imitation Members Only jacket) bring his own pathetic little folding table to set up in the hallway, hoping to catch passersby who might want to purchase an autograph?