Jocelyn Elders and the Law - Who writes criminal statutes like this crap, outlawing dildos and vibrators? And in nineteen ninety-eight, no less? The legislature of Alabama, of course. Thanks to courageous plaintiffs like the businesswomen who own Pleasures of Huntsville and The Saucy Lady, Inc., a U.S. District Court has had the chance to rule that upstanding citizens like you and I have a constitutional right to get off using artificial means. The opinion is written very broadly to recognize a "fundamental right to sexual privacy" among consenting adults. It doesn't take a genius to figure out where that precedent could lead. Somebody alert the One Million Moms.