Swimfan - Swimfan was a real letdown. Not because it had poorly written dialogue or because of its massive plot holes. No, the movie sucked because it lacked the campy, over-the-top elements or the raw, sexual elements that made Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct so notorious. Actors who I normally like were given nothing to do: there wasn't nearly enough skin shown by Jesse Bradford and Erika Christensen barely had anything to do that you didn't see in the commercials. I also wondered why someone being seriously recruited by college swim scouts would be practicing in the world's oldest, dingiest pool...and if he was that good, why would he be swimming at high school at all? Wouldn't he steer clear and just swim on a club team?

With an audience consisting of current and former Cal and Stanford students, we also snickered at the notion that this New Jersey boyfriend and girlfriend would move together to San Francisco to attend Stanford and Berkeley, respectively. Yeah, no problem paying for rent in the City, or taking BART and CalTrain to campus everyday. And why were the instant messages from which the film's name comes sent via a recognizable program? Instead they used a faked generic chat software that diminished the impact of Madison's stalking.

Perhaps the worst moment came in the very final scene, which made absolutely no sense, as Bradford watches, but doesn't participate, in a swim meet. Huh? Was I supposed to be taking a lesson away from that? I wanted a cameo by a boiled bunny or an icepick or ANYTHING that would have given a knowing wink to the fact that the movie is a blatant ripoff of past films. I was hoping for a camp classic, and instead I got 90 minutes with nary a cultural allusion in sight. Without schlocky, outrageous antics, I was no fan of Swimfan